August is here. I don’t know about you, but for me, August 1st always feels like the start of Fall. Maybe it’s because it signals the beginning of a new school year (even though I’ve been out of school for almost a decade). Maybe it’s because it usually means release from the oppressive heat of June and July where I live. Maybe it’s just because it sort of rhymes with “Autumn.” Whatever the case may be, Fall is my favorite season because it contains my three favorite holidays; (in no particular order) Halloween, my son’s birthday, and Fantasy Football Draft Day.

Fantasy Sports have long been the domain of the more athletically inclined. Which means, historically speaking, not the type of person who, say, reads this website regularly. But I would like to change that. Fantasy Sports are a great hobby for anyone, regardless of your interest in the actual play on the field. And I believe that only good can come of bringing more people into your favorite pastime.

It’s also worth noting that the lines that have historically existed between the “nerd” and “jock” communities are getting more and more blurred all the time. How many of us play Madden or NBA 2K despite having an allergic reaction to our own sweat? I mean, the recently released most successful movie of all time is based on second and third-tier comic book characters and requires at least a passing knowledge of 22 previous films also based on those comics.

So in this article, I’m going to try to do two things. First and foremost, I want to sell the idea of trying Fantasy Sports to you. If I’m successful in doing that, you’re going to want to know how you can get involved and you’ll want a strategy guide for getting started. So that’s going to be the second half of this piece.

Because of the time of year and because it’s what I’m most familiar with, I’m going to frame the conversation in term of Fantasy Football, specifically. But most of what I say (in the pitch section anyway) will apply to all kinds of fantasy sports. So let’s get started!

Introduction to Fantasy Sports

First off, you may be wondering what exactly I mean by “Fantasy Sports”. Fantasy Sports involves selecting a team of real life athletes and translating their on-field statistics into points. Your point total is compared against your opponents’ and a winner is determined. This is usually (but certainly not always, as we’ll discuss later) done in head-to-head matches within leagues of 6-16 people, depending on the sport.

And that’s it! The scoring can be as simple or complex as you want to make it, but in the end it boils down to numbers and strategy with a healthy dose of luck. It’s no different than Pokemon, UNO, or X-COM. And much like you don’t need a deep knowledge of real world military tactics in order to succeed at X-COM, you don’t need to know all that much about sports to be successful in Fantasy. For example, I’m a pretty good Fantasy Football player despite not being able to tell you the difference between a Nickel and Dime defense. Conversely, I spent six years in the military and can’t get past the third map in X-COM.

Stats, Stats, Stats!!!

Is there anything us nerds love more than memorizing otherwise useless trivia and statistics? I personally don’t know what year my parents were born, but I can name every Maester in A Song of Ice and Fire and tell you what lord they served under. Likewise, I could tell you Keenan Allen’s week-to-week Wide Receiver ranking in 2018 despite not watching a single Chargers game.

Just think about baseball cards! If you’re of the millennial generation or older you or somebody you know probably collected and traded baseball cards. Did all of those kids love baseball? Probably not. I know I personally hated baseball (largely because I was forced to play despite having the gross motor control and depth perception of a newborn baby). But I loved the crap out of baseball cards and would spend countless Summer afternoons soaking in the stats on the backs of those cards. Fantasy Sports are baseball card collecting but in real-time and with the opportunity to win money and to trash talk with your friends.

Trash Talk

Let’s face it; one of the most fun aspects of any multiplayer game is trash talking. Especially if you’re playing with a group of close friends (nothing makes a “your mom” jab land quite like knowing their mom’s actual name). There’s a unique brand of pleasure that comes with sniping a player you know someone wanted in the draft. Or beating someone with a player they traded to you while the player you traded them lays an egg.

Talk Talk

Maybe the greatest side effect of playing Fantasy Sports is that you’ll have another way to connect with people. There’s a reason “Did you see the big game” jokes occur again and again in pop culture. Aside from the weather, sports are probably the most common subject of small talk. The whole “sportsball” thing didn’t come out of nowhere. It’s a reaction to feeling alienated when people talk about a thing you don’t understand. Maybe knowing who Aaron Rogers is and that he threw four touchdowns yesterday can help you connect with your boss. Next thing you know, you’re running the company! Thanks, Fantasy Sports!

Summary

So now that I’ve filled your head with visions of your friends crying and you being CEO of a Fortune 500 company, I assume your next question is “Where do I sign up?!” If you have 8-14 friends who are also game to try something new, you can start your own league. I recommend the ESPN app, but Yahoo and CBS are both serviceable platforms for your league. There are plenty of other places where you can play with people online too if you can’t assemble a group of people you actually know. Daily Fantasy Sports (DFS), in particular, is a great way to play without submitting yourself to a season-long league. In DFS leagues you pick your players for a small set of games that can range anywhere from one afternoon to a weekend and once that’s over you’re done. I do this with my parents for some friendly competition and it’s a lot of fun with no long-term commitment.

One of my favorite tools to meet people with similar interests is the Meetup app (which I had to convince my wife wasn’t some sort of Ashley Madison site when I used it to find a D&D group). The advantage of Meetup is that you can find people in your area which will allow you to meet them in meat space if you so choose (live fantasy drafts are seriously the best, you guys).

So if you’re interested in getting involved in a redraft league, here’s a beginner’s guide to help you get started.